Big Dreams

I held a spaghetti slurping contest with my daughter, Agatha*.

I won.

I can't help but marvel at this beautiful, silly, adorable human being.  She's at the fantastic age that if I am even slightly funny she laughs her head off. Her giggle is infectious, and I will be as goofy as it takes to make her laugh.

As we grow I can't help but be optimistic that our relationship will be strong enough that we will get through the teen years unscathed. I believe that if I assume she will turn into a horrible evil teenager that all of that negative energy will ensure that inevitability.

Already I can see that she is going to keep me on my toes.  Agatha's intelligence (and often stubbornness) are plain to see, and she doesn't miss a thing. No dumbing it down; and that's a good thing.  I want her to question things, to think analytically. I see glimpses of the woman she will be and I get excited.

But even as I look forward to seeing her grow, there are plenty of things that worry me.

In my day (ahem) the internet, social media and smart phones were science fiction. When Agatha is a teen, we'll have computers on contact lenses and implants that act as smart phones.  Today's technology has changed the game.  Now bullying follows victims everywhere, it does not just stay at school. Will she have the confidence to stand up for herself if she is bullied? If she is a witness to bullying? I hope so.

Sex and sexy are targeted to younger and younger age groups.  There wasn't such thing as sex-ting, cell phones were the size of your head and didn't have screens.  Paris Hilton, Lindsey Lohan and other useless starlets were limited to magazines.  They weren't on blogs or TMZ.  Will she know the difference between sexy and beautiful? I hope so.

I remind myself that for all those worries there's always a silver lining.  There are teens speaking out against bullying, who don't buy into the sexy messages that is aimed at them and working to make a difference.

She will grow up in an America that will have always had an African American president, and I hope that by the time she's a teen it will also be an America with its first female president.  As an adult no matter who she loves if she and her partner want they can get married, hopefully it will be in all 50 states.

Being a parent I'm learning is a constant tight rope walk of excitement and worry. The trick is learning how find balance.

*Not my daughter's real name.